Sparkling, flirting and not spending money

Sensible blogs don’t do it for you, apparently.  Too boring! Not as much fun as exploits with naked scrabble buddy or the adventures of the 80s – no?  So let’s get this right.  You’re not really interested in my training courses or advice or booking me to run a plain English workshop.  You’re not inviting me to guest lecture or to write your web blogs.  You just want to know about times I’ve ended up unsuitably dressed, arrested or let’s just say, a little wobbly from wine.  Well, may I point out that I am, in fact, a respected businesswoman with a thriving commercial enterprise and pillar of the community! (Too much…?) At any rate, it’s probably just coincidence that this week I’ve been called a laptop whore and a lunch floozie AND asked if I flirt with everyone on Facebook Scrabble!!  Hmmm…  So this is maybe not a good time to mention that I’ve been dumped by my Twitter boyfriend.  We had some good times, it lasted over a week.  How humiliating, dumped for a Wii fit instructor!  But luckily I’ve picked up a new twitter friend. (Twend?) Jason (no, Sue, not that one) has cool jobs: DJ, club promoter and social media guy, and it was he who advised me to upload the photo below… higher rankings on Google, apparently!  So Grumpy, bet you wish you’d sent me the bacon sarnie now…!!  Dumped!  Huh!!  And so close to Christmas too…

I quite like Christmas. If you know me, you might have guessed that already.  On Sunday two very small children came to meet Santa. They were enchanted by my four shimmering trees, grotto of sparkling lights and life-size light-up elves village, plus the extensive range of soft and cuddly singing, dancing animals. I didn’t wear my Mrs Santa outfit, that wouldn’t have been appropriate for those particular guests. Instead I was the fairy godmother, wearing my wedding dress. See, Facebook friends…! Not weird at all!! I had wings and a wand and there wasn’t a drip of splattered blood. Miss Haversham indeed!

Now to think about present buying.  Last year over a billion dollars was spent on gifts on Cyber Monday alone.  A lot of that was my money – don’t blame me for the state of the economy. But not so much this year; I’m cutting right back.  Steven will get his Star Trek pizza cutter of course.  Bro-Lo knows the significance of this, and is laughing… 

Postscript: Since writing you’ll be pleased to know that my Twitter boyfriend is being all nice again.  I’m hoping for a very large box of Thornton’s to be delivered any day now.  Also, I’d like to publicly thank Oli for being a great Santa, and Joey – the perfect baby Jesus.

20 days to go.  I can’t stand Mariah Carey, but I do like this one song – as she so warblingly squeals: All I want for Christmas is yoooou… to email, ideally, or follow me: @WeekendWitch.

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