Renee

A world before Facebook, out of charge and Kate Bush on speed

When I was eight months pregnant, Gill and I sold the flat we’d lived in together while we were both single.  I loved that flat; we had loads of fun and I have so many happy – and funny – memories of Kingswood Road.  During the sales process, I had to go there for some reason.  I can’t remember why, but it felt sad to go back to a home that had been rented out for three years to people who’d abused it.

Now an empty and unloved property; I wandered around the rooms hearing the echoes of our laughter and felt wistful.  Then I felt a twinge.  Could it be early labour or simply a sudden urge to pee…?  Either way, there was no way I was going near the bathroom – the tenants had left it in a right old state.   And smack bang out of the azure blue a more recent memory flashed by of Gill talking about a problem with the lock on the front door.  And yes…. I was trapped!

Imaginative Training | social media blog | social media training | Plain English training | Plain English editing | copywritingHotel California without the pink champagne; Rapunzel without the hair.  My mobile had less than 3% of battery left and I was about to give birth.  A frantic call to Gill and she – thankfully – was able to call the estate agent to rush round with the key and rescue me.  Only my ordeal wasn’t over.  As I sat panicking on the window ledge I saw the man appear around the corner – and he saw me.  Waving my arms in the air like Kate Bush on speed, he thought I was telling him my problem was solved.  He assumed I hadn’t been able to get IN, and all was now well in the world.  I can still feel how my stomach sank as he smiled and waved, turning on his heel and vanishing back from whence he’d come.

My 1% of battery got me through to Gill who, when she’d stopped laughing, called the agent again; lo and behold I was rescued.  Clearly this was before the days of social media.  I’d have been tweeting for my life (two lives!) in that situation, and I like to think a few Facebook friends would have charged on their white stallions, hopefully bringing a stash of emergency chocolate.

This story has nothing to do with anything, but it serves as a constant reminder to keep my phone charged.  Running a Plain English Business Writing session last week, nine people out of ten had their phones on charge – me included. After all, no phone, no Facebook – right?

Not being able to access Facebook on your phone is one thing; having it but not knowing how to maximise it for business is another.  If you’d like some help, feel free to ask me there: Imaginative Training for Social Media.

Don Henley obviously knew my plight.  ‘Mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice… And she said, “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device.”’  Well, no one has to be a prisoner when they have social media – the whole world’s open and waiting to do business with you.  Find out how: @WeekendWitch.

PS: Have a lovely Easter if you’re celebrating this week. Enjoy your chocolate bunnies!!  And happy Passover if you’re celebrating that – have a wonderful, delicious dinner.  (I’ll be doing both!)

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